Life Coaching with Laurie Gerber
Urban Agenda gets a lesson on plans, promises, and dreams from one of the nation’s premiere life coaches.
By Sarah Emily Gilbert
“What are your goals for this article?”
This was Laurie Gerber’s first question to me during our phone interview. If that wasn’t a hint towards her knack for helping others structure their lives, then perhaps it was her prestigious title as Co-President and Senior Coach at Handel Group® Life Coaching that did.
Trained as an educator at Swarthmore College, Gerber always knew she wanted to work in an industry where she could guide others, but never realized the job “Life Coach” was an option. Although she ran a successful NYC tutoring business with her brother, Gerber found herself advising parents more than tutoring their kids. She hankered for a career that matched her mission, and with the support of her life coach (and cofounder of the Handel Group), Lauren Zander, Gerber found her job and herself.
“After I did years of therapy, personal growth, read books, took every course, chanted, ‘om-ed’, did yoga, astrology, you name it, [Lauren Zander] knocked my little socks off with how much and how quickly she changed in the main areas of my life: love, body, health, career. Then, she started asking me, ‘Okay, now what do you want to do next?’”
Gerber didn’t think the answer would be a Handel Group Life Coach, but Zander knew that was where she was headed.
“[Zander] said ‘Listen, I think you are going to do what I do. I think this is going to happen, so you can either come work for me or get another coach because I’m not going to train my competition right now since I just started my business.’”
It was this kind of tough love from Zander, who was the first person to “look [Gerber] in the eyes and say, ‘buck up kid and go for it’” that made her trust the Handel Method. Unlike traditional psychotherapy, Gerber explains that life coaching is not listening to listen, but listening to hear things and learn how someone thinks. Admittedly, Gerber initially viewed the life coaching profession as something for “quacks”, but as she reflected on her journey and relationship with Zander, there was no lack of evidence to support the legitimacy of the title. Zander walked the talk of the method – something Gerber learned was Handel lingo for living and acting according to the methods you teach. The second step of the Handel Life Coach training program (after learning the method and before proving yourself as someone who can thoughtfully and intelligently work with people), Gerber has also become a master of walking the talk.
So, what exactly is the Handel Method that has grown exponentially since its advent in 2004? According to Gerber, it is a series of conversations and exercises that take a year or two to complete. The coaching doesn’t even begin until clients hand in a personal bio and complete a four to ten hour homework assignment, something that becomes an integral part of their coaching. The initial assignment requires clients to rate their current reality in the main areas of life. If something is scored a nine or ten on the one to ten scale, then they are living what the Handel Group calls “the dream” for that category. However, “the dream” is usually few and far between for the first time client.
“People usually come in saying ‘Oh my gosh, I have a lot to work on’ or ‘the same issues are showing up in every area of my life.’ Before we even start coaching, they already have a lot of revelations about who they are, what they want, and how they think.”
A client’s homework gives Gerber access to an individual’s “inner dialogue” where she can detect their “obstacles, excuses, fears, theories, personality issues, conversations their avoiding, haunting things from their past, parent issues, and lineage issues” just to name a few. The first four to six sessions (which generally occur once a week, or biweekly over the phone or through Skype) are spent focusing on the three lowest scored areas of a client’s life.
According to Gerber, the main part of her work is doing battle with their obstacles using one of an estimated 40 to 50 exercises that the Handel Group has created. Then, an action plan with the client’s promises and consequences is designed. The promises are specific actions a person must do, while the consequences are artificial, silly actions for when they don’t fulfill their promise. Gerber’s own promise/consequence list includes having to write for a coworker each time she’s rude to them. Once poems are written, and plans are set, Gerber helps her clients bring their lives into “personal integrity,” which includes lining up their actions with their thoughts, plans, highest ideals, and dreams.
The Handel Method’s structure is so logical and comprehensive that it is being taught in esteemed educational institutions like NYU, MIT, and Stanford. In fact, the NYC-based Handel Group has taken off as one of the premiere life coaching companies attracting clients like Sean Young, Damian Kulash, Vogue, Sony, and the NY Times. Gerber alone has appeared on television series like Dr. Phil and MTV’s True Life, and is currently coaching an up and coming starlet. Celebrities aside, the Handel Group’s team of sixty services people ranging from eight to 80, but the average client in the life coaching division is a 30 to 60 year old working professional with disposable income. Gerber admits that the Handel Group’s life coaching services cost “a pretty penny,” but as a one billion dollar industry with 7.8% annual growth, high costs aren’t surprising (Ibisworld.com’s December 2014 Life Coaches Market Research Report).
Gerber asks each of her clients the following question: “If you had a microphone on your deathbed and could say one thing that all the world would hear, what would it be?”
While she gets some fascinating responses, Gerber knows that her famous last words would be to tell the truth. “The cheesy saying that the truth will set you free is true. It doesn’t mean say everything you’ve ever thought, but there’s an incredible journey to take if you seek to know what your truth is, much less figure out how to say it.”
If you aren’t sure what your deathbed mantra is, or are ready to be transformed by the Handel Method, Gerber and the Handel Group provide a diverse array of programs and services. Below are links to the Handel Group’s next free tele-talk, live NYC event, and free 20-minute consultation.
Change Your Mind About Money TeleTalk:
Change Your Mind About Money Live NYC Event:
Free 20-minute Consultation: